Horses for courses

“Horses for courses” is an age old expression I grew up with. If you aren’t familiar with the expression, it refers to horse racing where the length and condition of a race course isn’t the same at every venue. Some horses will do better over certain distances and running in certain conditions. A smart trainer will enter the horses in their care into the races that suit them.

I think we have forgotten much of the truth in this expression.

Whether one looks on the bookshelves, reads articles, attends seminars there are many people available to teach us the best way to do something: overcome procrastination, achieve goals, find solutions, lose weight, motivate your staff, turn a profit and so on.

As soon as a new book hits the shelves whichever approach is being described becomes the flavour of the month or year and the author becomes the latest guru. This ignores the sage advice of “horses for courses”.

We humans, like horses, respond differently to different situations. Some of us can jump right in and others need clarity before our focus talents kick in. Some of us can sort our thoughts by thinking and some by writing or drawing. Some of us get energy from carbohydrates and others just put on weight. Some of us have the talent of achiever and are driven by being able to tick things off. Others are driven by the satisfaction of helping someone. So one tool, one diet, one strategy doesn’t give the same brilliant results for everyone.

If the latest “must do”, “best new way” doesn’t work for you it doesn’t mean it is wrong and it doesn’t mean you are wrong.

• There are many ways to get great results, keep experimenting to find the one that works for you; that best matches your strengths, personality and thinking style.

•  Maybe you were already doing great and there is no need to change from your “old” way?

• And remember to allow each person in your work or home space the opportunity to do things in the style that best suits them so they can also enjoy fabulous results.

Find your own course and encourage others to find theirs.

Getting on with people

“Achieving success at work & in life, one conversation at a time”. This is the sub title of a book called “Fierce Conversations” that I am reading. Robust conversations are very important but I’d like to paraphrase Susan Scott and say “Achieving success at work & in life, one relationship at a time”.

I know many people who are highly successful at work or in business, essentially because they get on with pretty much everyone. When I see children at school who are at ease with their peers and with their teachers I think “they have a bright future ahead of them.” And when I meet very smart people who can’t relate to others I am sad that they may well struggle to succeed and their potential could be wasted.

One of the quadrants of the Leader Management Framework is People Connection. Without this connection a leader manager may well produce some results, but the staff will never work as effectively as they would have if the people connection was there.

There are many aspects to connecting with people. Some important ones are building trust, communicating effectively and valuing people. At a more basic level we need to understand people and that starts with understanding ourselves.

I have been working with a couple, whose already poor relationship has been severely strained by changed circumstances. They have been married for about thirty years and yet they have no understanding of each other’s different personality, different needs and different communication styles. Until they improve their understanding and acceptance of each other they can’t move forward.

Some of us are lucky and have somehow done that unconsciously. What can the rest of us do? Observe and learn, with a little help from books, talks or workshops.

Start by understanding your own behaviour, reactions and needs better. Become an observer of yourself. Notice what you do and how you feel, and ask yourself why.

And then do the same with those around you. Notice how people respond to you and to other people, and think about why. Adjust your behaviour towards them (whilst remaining authentic) and see if you get different responses.

Try to recognise their needs, and if appropriate meet that need. What response do you get?

There are many excellent, easy to read books which can increase your understanding. There is a list on my website (“Personality Plus”, in particular, is a very funny read).

Or you can learn in a much more informal environment. Watching movies or live shows, and reading novels, are great fun ways to study human dynamics - as most of them are all about people!

Know Your Self

I haven’t written a Bumble Bee Insight for a couple of months. As I tell new subscribers, I only write them at irregular intervals and when something inspires me. Why is this? It’s a long standing rebellion against routine and predictability. Probably silly at my age but not something that I’m concerned to change.


In my last years at school I always hated going back after the holidays or a weekend. As an adult I tried to analyse why. I did very well at school, had friends, got on with the teachers, so there shouldn’t have been a reason to dislike it. Then it struck me, it only really started after I left Woodmead High and went to Hyde Park High. Woodmead had very different methodologies and a lot of freedom. Hyde Park was a good school but conventional. After having experienced being encouraged to be responsible and apply self leadership I disliked following someone else’s timetable, and rules that didn’t make sense.


In the “Take control of your life” workshop one of the little tricks we share is the value of having rituals or habits. Think how easy brushing your teeth is, because you do it by rote every day. For myself I create little routines, such as doing my back stretches every morning. It works very well for some time – and then it just gets too predictable and I have to change it!


The irony is that I am a very organised person who inherently brings order to chaos wherever I am – but to be happy I need to do this within an environment of variety and change! Having come to these (and other) understandings of myself, allows me to know and use my strengths whilst being joyful. Have you found your strengths? Are you experiencing joy in your home and work life?