I haven’t written a Bumble Bee Insight for a couple of months. As I tell new subscribers, I only write them at irregular intervals and when something inspires me. Why is this? It’s a long standing rebellion against routine and predictability. Probably silly at my age but not something that I’m concerned to change.
In my last years at school I always hated going back after the holidays or a weekend. As an adult I tried to analyse why. I did very well at school, had friends, got on with the teachers, so there shouldn’t have been a reason to dislike it. Then it struck me, it only really started after I left Woodmead High and went to Hyde Park High. Woodmead had very different methodologies and a lot of freedom. Hyde Park was a good school but conventional. After having experienced being encouraged to be responsible and apply self leadership I disliked following someone else’s timetable, and rules that didn’t make sense.
In the “Take control of your life” workshop one of the little tricks we share is the value of having rituals or habits. Think how easy brushing your teeth is, because you do it by rote every day. For myself I create little routines, such as doing my back stretches every morning. It works very well for some time – and then it just gets too predictable and I have to change it!
The irony is that I am a very organised person who inherently brings order to chaos wherever I am – but to be happy I need to do this within an environment of variety and change! Having come to these (and other) understandings of myself, allows me to know and use my strengths whilst being joyful. Have you found your strengths? Are you experiencing joy in your home and work life?
Thursday, 21 October 2010
Thursday, 23 September 2010
Focus and Perseverance
My 15 year old son just called to say he has been awarded a team blazer for athletics. At his school this is a huge honour, especially for grade 10's.
He has the most amazing ability to make up his mind to do something and then to keep working steadily towards it.
Athletics has never been his main sport but before this season began he determined that if he worked hard at his times he had the possibility of earning the cherished team blazer.
He learnt to hurdle for the first time and immediately made the 300m distance his with a silver placing - competing against under 19's as this is only a senior's race. He did his best for the team with the 100m hurdles, inspiring others to improve themselves and so take over from him in this less suited distance. And he put his heart into the 400m flat race, steadily increasing his speed until getting within .06s of the school record.
Throughout the season he struggled with the pain of shin splints from a combination of high training levels and some poor structuring in his own body which required physio and additional rehabilitative exercises. Because he wasn't a senior he sometimes had to give up his place in the 300m hurdles to an older but slower athlete. Throughout the disappointments and the pain and the hard work he never lost sight of the goal - without hurting anyone else he just kept at it.
I am humbled by his focus and perseverance. The recognition is well deserved.
He has the most amazing ability to make up his mind to do something and then to keep working steadily towards it.
Athletics has never been his main sport but before this season began he determined that if he worked hard at his times he had the possibility of earning the cherished team blazer.
He learnt to hurdle for the first time and immediately made the 300m distance his with a silver placing - competing against under 19's as this is only a senior's race. He did his best for the team with the 100m hurdles, inspiring others to improve themselves and so take over from him in this less suited distance. And he put his heart into the 400m flat race, steadily increasing his speed until getting within .06s of the school record.
Throughout the season he struggled with the pain of shin splints from a combination of high training levels and some poor structuring in his own body which required physio and additional rehabilitative exercises. Because he wasn't a senior he sometimes had to give up his place in the 300m hurdles to an older but slower athlete. Throughout the disappointments and the pain and the hard work he never lost sight of the goal - without hurting anyone else he just kept at it.
I am humbled by his focus and perseverance. The recognition is well deserved.
Tuesday, 14 September 2010
Choosing Subjects - To do or not to do...
Should I take history or biology, accounting or geography? It is that time of the year when Grade 9 learners have to choose their subjects to study for the next three years. Not an easy decision. In some cases a wrong choice could become a big barrier later if applying for tertiary study.
It can be a difficult time both for the learner and for their parent. We want to guide them in the best possible way but we don’t always know what that is and we may unintentionally guide them in a direction that suits us better than the child.
I went through this exercise a few years ago with my daughter and last year again with my son. Different children, different schools, different talents and interests, different final subject choices, but the same process.
So I am going to share my thoughts on how to go about this. Firstly remember that, although it is a bit complicated, learners are allowed to change their minds during Gr. 10 and even Gr. 11 or 12, so there is a very narrow escape route. Secondly the first four subjects are pretty much set. Life Orientation is compulsory as well as two official languages and one of the mathematics. So unless you do more than the minimum seven subjects there are only three true free choices. And thirdly, although I said earlier that an incorrect choice could make tertiary studies difficult this is really only the case where mathematics or science/biology are required - think BSc, engineering, medicine...
Very few children are going to know in Gr.9 what they want to do after school. Even if they think they do there is a strong chance it will change. And if it doesn’t then it may only be their first career, as multiple career lives are becoming much more the norm. Please don’t put your child under any pressure to make career decisions at this stage of their lives.
If your child has already decided what subjects they want to do then you only need to check the list for suitability – jump to ***.
If not, start here, together with your son/daughter (part 1):
• make a list of the subject choices available at the school outside of the compulsory ones mentioned above
• eliminate any subject really disliked or in which pass marks have not previously been achievable
• from the remaining ones your child needs to ask, which do I like the most? (or dislike the least )
• from those chosen as favourites double check that there is understanding of what that subject entails eg does it involve both practical and theory papers (Art & Drama), have they spoken to older learners studying it and/or teachers?
You should now have three or more hot favourites.
***At this point you need to check whether these allow for the possible career paths that your child may choose (part 2).
Take a big piece of paper and write down keywords that encompass your child’s answers to the following questions:
• what is important to you (could be things, values, circumstances…)?
• what makes you feel excited/happy/energetic/warm inside?
• what are you doing when time either seems to fly by or you forget about time completely?
• what have others commented you are good at (could be actions or behaviours)?
• what else have you thought you are good at?
These answers should give some broad ideas of the career areas they may take an interest in. For some this could be quite narrow and for others very varied. Please do not try to limit or narrow it down.
Look at the subjects already selected in the first part and check if they support the general ideas coming out of the second part.
Look at the general areas in part 2 and see if they would obviously require a subject which has not already been selected in part 1. Two of the key subjects in this regard are physical science and life science (the old biology). If so consider adding that subject back in.
By now you should have found your child’s three most popular subjects that have relevance to their possible broad career interests.
To return to the compulsory subjects. As far as languages are concerned these are mostly a personal choice. In South Africa many courses do require English.
The only remaining choice is between mathematics and mathematical literacy. Mathematics is required for entry into many of the courses at tertiary institutions. Therefore choosing mathematical literacy instead should only be done after careful consideration. Think about
• does not having maths exclude the child from any course they are likely to want to study?
• can they cope with maths if they really work at it or have additional help?
I came across a simple little book written by Norma Colley called “Choose the correct school subjects” (www.normacolley.info) which is a useful resource.
And lastly please share these wise words with your son/daughter.
"Don’t ask yourself what the world needs – ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then do it.
Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
Harold Thurman Whitman
Republished for the benefit of parents of this year's Grade 9's
It can be a difficult time both for the learner and for their parent. We want to guide them in the best possible way but we don’t always know what that is and we may unintentionally guide them in a direction that suits us better than the child.
I went through this exercise a few years ago with my daughter and last year again with my son. Different children, different schools, different talents and interests, different final subject choices, but the same process.
So I am going to share my thoughts on how to go about this. Firstly remember that, although it is a bit complicated, learners are allowed to change their minds during Gr. 10 and even Gr. 11 or 12, so there is a very narrow escape route. Secondly the first four subjects are pretty much set. Life Orientation is compulsory as well as two official languages and one of the mathematics. So unless you do more than the minimum seven subjects there are only three true free choices. And thirdly, although I said earlier that an incorrect choice could make tertiary studies difficult this is really only the case where mathematics or science/biology are required - think BSc, engineering, medicine...
Very few children are going to know in Gr.9 what they want to do after school. Even if they think they do there is a strong chance it will change. And if it doesn’t then it may only be their first career, as multiple career lives are becoming much more the norm. Please don’t put your child under any pressure to make career decisions at this stage of their lives.
If your child has already decided what subjects they want to do then you only need to check the list for suitability – jump to ***.
If not, start here, together with your son/daughter (part 1):
• make a list of the subject choices available at the school outside of the compulsory ones mentioned above
• eliminate any subject really disliked or in which pass marks have not previously been achievable
• from the remaining ones your child needs to ask, which do I like the most? (or dislike the least )
• from those chosen as favourites double check that there is understanding of what that subject entails eg does it involve both practical and theory papers (Art & Drama), have they spoken to older learners studying it and/or teachers?
You should now have three or more hot favourites.
***At this point you need to check whether these allow for the possible career paths that your child may choose (part 2).
Take a big piece of paper and write down keywords that encompass your child’s answers to the following questions:
• what is important to you (could be things, values, circumstances…)?
• what makes you feel excited/happy/energetic/warm inside?
• what are you doing when time either seems to fly by or you forget about time completely?
• what have others commented you are good at (could be actions or behaviours)?
• what else have you thought you are good at?
These answers should give some broad ideas of the career areas they may take an interest in. For some this could be quite narrow and for others very varied. Please do not try to limit or narrow it down.
Look at the subjects already selected in the first part and check if they support the general ideas coming out of the second part.
Look at the general areas in part 2 and see if they would obviously require a subject which has not already been selected in part 1. Two of the key subjects in this regard are physical science and life science (the old biology). If so consider adding that subject back in.
By now you should have found your child’s three most popular subjects that have relevance to their possible broad career interests.
To return to the compulsory subjects. As far as languages are concerned these are mostly a personal choice. In South Africa many courses do require English.
The only remaining choice is between mathematics and mathematical literacy. Mathematics is required for entry into many of the courses at tertiary institutions. Therefore choosing mathematical literacy instead should only be done after careful consideration. Think about
• does not having maths exclude the child from any course they are likely to want to study?
• can they cope with maths if they really work at it or have additional help?
I came across a simple little book written by Norma Colley called “Choose the correct school subjects” (www.normacolley.info) which is a useful resource.
And lastly please share these wise words with your son/daughter.
"Don’t ask yourself what the world needs – ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then do it.
Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
Harold Thurman Whitman
Republished for the benefit of parents of this year's Grade 9's
Friday, 10 September 2010
The Story of the Butterfly
I often tell this story when working with people.
Many find it helps them to accept that others have their own growth paths to walk - that often we can best help our children, family, friends by being supportive and encouraging but NOT interfering.
A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.
One day a small opening appeared.
He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours
as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.
Then it stopped, as if it couldn't go further.
So the man decided to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and
snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon.
The butterfly emerged easily but
it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch it,
expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge
and expand enough to support the body,
Neither happened!
In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life
crawling around.
It was never able to fly.
What the man in his kindness
and haste did not understand:
The restricting cocoon and the struggle
required by the butterfly to get through the opening
was a way of forcing the fluid from the body
into the wings so that it would be ready
for flight once that was achieved.
Sometimes struggles are exactly
what we need in our lives.
Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us.
We will not be as strong as we could have been
and we would never fly.
Thanks to www.motivational-well-being.com for the written version.
Many find it helps them to accept that others have their own growth paths to walk - that often we can best help our children, family, friends by being supportive and encouraging but NOT interfering.
A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.
One day a small opening appeared.
He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours
as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.
Then it stopped, as if it couldn't go further.
So the man decided to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and
snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon.
The butterfly emerged easily but
it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch it,
expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge
and expand enough to support the body,
Neither happened!
In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life
crawling around.
It was never able to fly.
What the man in his kindness
and haste did not understand:
The restricting cocoon and the struggle
required by the butterfly to get through the opening
was a way of forcing the fluid from the body
into the wings so that it would be ready
for flight once that was achieved.
Sometimes struggles are exactly
what we need in our lives.
Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us.
We will not be as strong as we could have been
and we would never fly.
Thanks to www.motivational-well-being.com for the written version.
Thursday, 26 August 2010
An accident? Or intentional action?
Yesterday I was at a conference all day so only heard about the train "accident" in Blackheath on the radio whilst driving back.
Today I have read a number of articles about it on News24. If they have their information correct the taxi driver overtook a number of cars, drove on the wrong side of the road and ignored the barrier at the crossing.
This isn't an accident! It is reckless behaviour with a very high possibility of endangering self and others - which tragically is exactly what happened.
My children sometimes do something like place their glass on the floor while watching TV and then knock it over. They would often then say "Sorry, it was an accident." My response would be "No it isn't. An accident is bumping the glass when it is in the middle of a table. When you put the glass on the floor you made it highly likely that it would get knocked over by you or someone else."
We are far too quick to speak about things being accidental these days. If a young child walks into the road in front of a car it is an accident (and a lack of responsibility on the part of their caregiver). If an adult walks into the road, it is reckless and asking to get knocked over.
If we have the knowledge or experience to know the negative consequences of an action then we are responsible for those consequences, if we continue to take the action. It is not an accident.
This may sound like semantics but I think that at a deeper level we are constantly reducing personal responsibility by referring to bad consequences, that could have been avoided, as accidents.
Today I have read a number of articles about it on News24. If they have their information correct the taxi driver overtook a number of cars, drove on the wrong side of the road and ignored the barrier at the crossing.
This isn't an accident! It is reckless behaviour with a very high possibility of endangering self and others - which tragically is exactly what happened.
My children sometimes do something like place their glass on the floor while watching TV and then knock it over. They would often then say "Sorry, it was an accident." My response would be "No it isn't. An accident is bumping the glass when it is in the middle of a table. When you put the glass on the floor you made it highly likely that it would get knocked over by you or someone else."
We are far too quick to speak about things being accidental these days. If a young child walks into the road in front of a car it is an accident (and a lack of responsibility on the part of their caregiver). If an adult walks into the road, it is reckless and asking to get knocked over.
If we have the knowledge or experience to know the negative consequences of an action then we are responsible for those consequences, if we continue to take the action. It is not an accident.
This may sound like semantics but I think that at a deeper level we are constantly reducing personal responsibility by referring to bad consequences, that could have been avoided, as accidents.
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