My 15 year old son just called to say he has been awarded a team blazer for athletics. At his school this is a huge honour, especially for grade 10's.
He has the most amazing ability to make up his mind to do something and then to keep working steadily towards it.
Athletics has never been his main sport but before this season began he determined that if he worked hard at his times he had the possibility of earning the cherished team blazer.
He learnt to hurdle for the first time and immediately made the 300m distance his with a silver placing - competing against under 19's as this is only a senior's race. He did his best for the team with the 100m hurdles, inspiring others to improve themselves and so take over from him in this less suited distance. And he put his heart into the 400m flat race, steadily increasing his speed until getting within .06s of the school record.
Throughout the season he struggled with the pain of shin splints from a combination of high training levels and some poor structuring in his own body which required physio and additional rehabilitative exercises. Because he wasn't a senior he sometimes had to give up his place in the 300m hurdles to an older but slower athlete. Throughout the disappointments and the pain and the hard work he never lost sight of the goal - without hurting anyone else he just kept at it.
I am humbled by his focus and perseverance. The recognition is well deserved.
Thursday, 23 September 2010
Tuesday, 14 September 2010
Choosing Subjects - To do or not to do...
Should I take history or biology, accounting or geography? It is that time of the year when Grade 9 learners have to choose their subjects to study for the next three years. Not an easy decision. In some cases a wrong choice could become a big barrier later if applying for tertiary study.
It can be a difficult time both for the learner and for their parent. We want to guide them in the best possible way but we don’t always know what that is and we may unintentionally guide them in a direction that suits us better than the child.
I went through this exercise a few years ago with my daughter and last year again with my son. Different children, different schools, different talents and interests, different final subject choices, but the same process.
So I am going to share my thoughts on how to go about this. Firstly remember that, although it is a bit complicated, learners are allowed to change their minds during Gr. 10 and even Gr. 11 or 12, so there is a very narrow escape route. Secondly the first four subjects are pretty much set. Life Orientation is compulsory as well as two official languages and one of the mathematics. So unless you do more than the minimum seven subjects there are only three true free choices. And thirdly, although I said earlier that an incorrect choice could make tertiary studies difficult this is really only the case where mathematics or science/biology are required - think BSc, engineering, medicine...
Very few children are going to know in Gr.9 what they want to do after school. Even if they think they do there is a strong chance it will change. And if it doesn’t then it may only be their first career, as multiple career lives are becoming much more the norm. Please don’t put your child under any pressure to make career decisions at this stage of their lives.
If your child has already decided what subjects they want to do then you only need to check the list for suitability – jump to ***.
If not, start here, together with your son/daughter (part 1):
• make a list of the subject choices available at the school outside of the compulsory ones mentioned above
• eliminate any subject really disliked or in which pass marks have not previously been achievable
• from the remaining ones your child needs to ask, which do I like the most? (or dislike the least )
• from those chosen as favourites double check that there is understanding of what that subject entails eg does it involve both practical and theory papers (Art & Drama), have they spoken to older learners studying it and/or teachers?
You should now have three or more hot favourites.
***At this point you need to check whether these allow for the possible career paths that your child may choose (part 2).
Take a big piece of paper and write down keywords that encompass your child’s answers to the following questions:
• what is important to you (could be things, values, circumstances…)?
• what makes you feel excited/happy/energetic/warm inside?
• what are you doing when time either seems to fly by or you forget about time completely?
• what have others commented you are good at (could be actions or behaviours)?
• what else have you thought you are good at?
These answers should give some broad ideas of the career areas they may take an interest in. For some this could be quite narrow and for others very varied. Please do not try to limit or narrow it down.
Look at the subjects already selected in the first part and check if they support the general ideas coming out of the second part.
Look at the general areas in part 2 and see if they would obviously require a subject which has not already been selected in part 1. Two of the key subjects in this regard are physical science and life science (the old biology). If so consider adding that subject back in.
By now you should have found your child’s three most popular subjects that have relevance to their possible broad career interests.
To return to the compulsory subjects. As far as languages are concerned these are mostly a personal choice. In South Africa many courses do require English.
The only remaining choice is between mathematics and mathematical literacy. Mathematics is required for entry into many of the courses at tertiary institutions. Therefore choosing mathematical literacy instead should only be done after careful consideration. Think about
• does not having maths exclude the child from any course they are likely to want to study?
• can they cope with maths if they really work at it or have additional help?
I came across a simple little book written by Norma Colley called “Choose the correct school subjects” (www.normacolley.info) which is a useful resource.
And lastly please share these wise words with your son/daughter.
"Don’t ask yourself what the world needs – ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then do it.
Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
Harold Thurman Whitman
Republished for the benefit of parents of this year's Grade 9's
It can be a difficult time both for the learner and for their parent. We want to guide them in the best possible way but we don’t always know what that is and we may unintentionally guide them in a direction that suits us better than the child.
I went through this exercise a few years ago with my daughter and last year again with my son. Different children, different schools, different talents and interests, different final subject choices, but the same process.
So I am going to share my thoughts on how to go about this. Firstly remember that, although it is a bit complicated, learners are allowed to change their minds during Gr. 10 and even Gr. 11 or 12, so there is a very narrow escape route. Secondly the first four subjects are pretty much set. Life Orientation is compulsory as well as two official languages and one of the mathematics. So unless you do more than the minimum seven subjects there are only three true free choices. And thirdly, although I said earlier that an incorrect choice could make tertiary studies difficult this is really only the case where mathematics or science/biology are required - think BSc, engineering, medicine...
Very few children are going to know in Gr.9 what they want to do after school. Even if they think they do there is a strong chance it will change. And if it doesn’t then it may only be their first career, as multiple career lives are becoming much more the norm. Please don’t put your child under any pressure to make career decisions at this stage of their lives.
If your child has already decided what subjects they want to do then you only need to check the list for suitability – jump to ***.
If not, start here, together with your son/daughter (part 1):
• make a list of the subject choices available at the school outside of the compulsory ones mentioned above
• eliminate any subject really disliked or in which pass marks have not previously been achievable
• from the remaining ones your child needs to ask, which do I like the most? (or dislike the least )
• from those chosen as favourites double check that there is understanding of what that subject entails eg does it involve both practical and theory papers (Art & Drama), have they spoken to older learners studying it and/or teachers?
You should now have three or more hot favourites.
***At this point you need to check whether these allow for the possible career paths that your child may choose (part 2).
Take a big piece of paper and write down keywords that encompass your child’s answers to the following questions:
• what is important to you (could be things, values, circumstances…)?
• what makes you feel excited/happy/energetic/warm inside?
• what are you doing when time either seems to fly by or you forget about time completely?
• what have others commented you are good at (could be actions or behaviours)?
• what else have you thought you are good at?
These answers should give some broad ideas of the career areas they may take an interest in. For some this could be quite narrow and for others very varied. Please do not try to limit or narrow it down.
Look at the subjects already selected in the first part and check if they support the general ideas coming out of the second part.
Look at the general areas in part 2 and see if they would obviously require a subject which has not already been selected in part 1. Two of the key subjects in this regard are physical science and life science (the old biology). If so consider adding that subject back in.
By now you should have found your child’s three most popular subjects that have relevance to their possible broad career interests.
To return to the compulsory subjects. As far as languages are concerned these are mostly a personal choice. In South Africa many courses do require English.
The only remaining choice is between mathematics and mathematical literacy. Mathematics is required for entry into many of the courses at tertiary institutions. Therefore choosing mathematical literacy instead should only be done after careful consideration. Think about
• does not having maths exclude the child from any course they are likely to want to study?
• can they cope with maths if they really work at it or have additional help?
I came across a simple little book written by Norma Colley called “Choose the correct school subjects” (www.normacolley.info) which is a useful resource.
And lastly please share these wise words with your son/daughter.
"Don’t ask yourself what the world needs – ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then do it.
Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
Harold Thurman Whitman
Republished for the benefit of parents of this year's Grade 9's
Friday, 10 September 2010
The Story of the Butterfly
I often tell this story when working with people.
Many find it helps them to accept that others have their own growth paths to walk - that often we can best help our children, family, friends by being supportive and encouraging but NOT interfering.
A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.
One day a small opening appeared.
He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours
as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.
Then it stopped, as if it couldn't go further.
So the man decided to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and
snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon.
The butterfly emerged easily but
it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch it,
expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge
and expand enough to support the body,
Neither happened!
In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life
crawling around.
It was never able to fly.
What the man in his kindness
and haste did not understand:
The restricting cocoon and the struggle
required by the butterfly to get through the opening
was a way of forcing the fluid from the body
into the wings so that it would be ready
for flight once that was achieved.
Sometimes struggles are exactly
what we need in our lives.
Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us.
We will not be as strong as we could have been
and we would never fly.
Thanks to www.motivational-well-being.com for the written version.
Many find it helps them to accept that others have their own growth paths to walk - that often we can best help our children, family, friends by being supportive and encouraging but NOT interfering.
A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.
One day a small opening appeared.
He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours
as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.
Then it stopped, as if it couldn't go further.
So the man decided to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and
snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon.
The butterfly emerged easily but
it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch it,
expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge
and expand enough to support the body,
Neither happened!
In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life
crawling around.
It was never able to fly.
What the man in his kindness
and haste did not understand:
The restricting cocoon and the struggle
required by the butterfly to get through the opening
was a way of forcing the fluid from the body
into the wings so that it would be ready
for flight once that was achieved.
Sometimes struggles are exactly
what we need in our lives.
Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us.
We will not be as strong as we could have been
and we would never fly.
Thanks to www.motivational-well-being.com for the written version.
Thursday, 26 August 2010
An accident? Or intentional action?
Yesterday I was at a conference all day so only heard about the train "accident" in Blackheath on the radio whilst driving back.
Today I have read a number of articles about it on News24. If they have their information correct the taxi driver overtook a number of cars, drove on the wrong side of the road and ignored the barrier at the crossing.
This isn't an accident! It is reckless behaviour with a very high possibility of endangering self and others - which tragically is exactly what happened.
My children sometimes do something like place their glass on the floor while watching TV and then knock it over. They would often then say "Sorry, it was an accident." My response would be "No it isn't. An accident is bumping the glass when it is in the middle of a table. When you put the glass on the floor you made it highly likely that it would get knocked over by you or someone else."
We are far too quick to speak about things being accidental these days. If a young child walks into the road in front of a car it is an accident (and a lack of responsibility on the part of their caregiver). If an adult walks into the road, it is reckless and asking to get knocked over.
If we have the knowledge or experience to know the negative consequences of an action then we are responsible for those consequences, if we continue to take the action. It is not an accident.
This may sound like semantics but I think that at a deeper level we are constantly reducing personal responsibility by referring to bad consequences, that could have been avoided, as accidents.
Today I have read a number of articles about it on News24. If they have their information correct the taxi driver overtook a number of cars, drove on the wrong side of the road and ignored the barrier at the crossing.
This isn't an accident! It is reckless behaviour with a very high possibility of endangering self and others - which tragically is exactly what happened.
My children sometimes do something like place their glass on the floor while watching TV and then knock it over. They would often then say "Sorry, it was an accident." My response would be "No it isn't. An accident is bumping the glass when it is in the middle of a table. When you put the glass on the floor you made it highly likely that it would get knocked over by you or someone else."
We are far too quick to speak about things being accidental these days. If a young child walks into the road in front of a car it is an accident (and a lack of responsibility on the part of their caregiver). If an adult walks into the road, it is reckless and asking to get knocked over.
If we have the knowledge or experience to know the negative consequences of an action then we are responsible for those consequences, if we continue to take the action. It is not an accident.
This may sound like semantics but I think that at a deeper level we are constantly reducing personal responsibility by referring to bad consequences, that could have been avoided, as accidents.
Sunday, 18 July 2010
Hosting Your Life
Part way through the World Cup it became evident that we were going to pull it off, despite the prior doubts we had had. We found we could do more than we thought we were capable of. I thought how similar that is to our personal lives. So often we don’t think we can manage something big or new but if we take the plunge, commit ourselves and get on with it, we are surprised at how well we do. (Apparently “waka waka” means “just do it” in Fang.)
There are many other parallels between observing South Africa host the SWC, and our own lives.
For six years detractors argued that a World Cup hosted here would be a disaster but FIFA and the LOC ignored them. When we follow our dreams there are always those that try to stop us – some are envious, some are trying to protect us – we need to believe in ourselves and make our dream happen regardless.
The World Cup took many years of preparation. We need to be patient and tackle our goals one step at a time whilst keeping an eye on where we want to end up. Eventually we will get there.
Many groups of people were involved in pulling off the World Cup. The LOC were only the coordinators. We can get further if we collaborate with others, let their strengths help us whilst we in turn help them.
Most of the things we worried about ahead of the World Cup – crime, lack of public transport, shortage of accommodation – weren’t a problem. In our lives we waste a lot of energy worrying about things but 96% of them never materialise or we can’t do anything about them anyway!
And then just when you think everything is running smoothly a curved ball hits you like the fiasco at King Shaka airport. And if it does just handle it, keep communicating, be prepared to sincerely say sorry and learn from the lesson. Looking back later it will just be a wobble in your path.
And how about reminding ourselves to stand strong against others who want to direct our lives according to their agenda. It’s a pity the government and the LOC didn’t stand up to FIFA. A pity they changed our laws to allow excessive “protection” for the official sponsors. A pity they let a non African record the official cup anthem. Wouldn’t a recording by Freshly Ground on their own, or maybe Jonny Clegg, have been so much more true to the first African World Cup?
But then even FIFA can’t control everything and Waving Flags became the song which I and many others will always associate with this 2010 World Cup. Some things in our lives “just are” and we help ourselves the most when we accept that and direct our energy into areas where we do have real control or influence.
Here is a lovely collection of slides with music, that bring back the wonderful vibe and emotions of the 2010 World Cup - African style. May they inspire you to go after the life you want, no matter what anyone says - ride out the hitches, stay focussed on the goal, accept what is beyond your control and take control of what is. Be the director of Your Life 2010.
Click here to download - takes a few minutes with acknowledgement to ChadM
There are many other parallels between observing South Africa host the SWC, and our own lives.
For six years detractors argued that a World Cup hosted here would be a disaster but FIFA and the LOC ignored them. When we follow our dreams there are always those that try to stop us – some are envious, some are trying to protect us – we need to believe in ourselves and make our dream happen regardless.
The World Cup took many years of preparation. We need to be patient and tackle our goals one step at a time whilst keeping an eye on where we want to end up. Eventually we will get there.
Many groups of people were involved in pulling off the World Cup. The LOC were only the coordinators. We can get further if we collaborate with others, let their strengths help us whilst we in turn help them.
Most of the things we worried about ahead of the World Cup – crime, lack of public transport, shortage of accommodation – weren’t a problem. In our lives we waste a lot of energy worrying about things but 96% of them never materialise or we can’t do anything about them anyway!
And then just when you think everything is running smoothly a curved ball hits you like the fiasco at King Shaka airport. And if it does just handle it, keep communicating, be prepared to sincerely say sorry and learn from the lesson. Looking back later it will just be a wobble in your path.
And how about reminding ourselves to stand strong against others who want to direct our lives according to their agenda. It’s a pity the government and the LOC didn’t stand up to FIFA. A pity they changed our laws to allow excessive “protection” for the official sponsors. A pity they let a non African record the official cup anthem. Wouldn’t a recording by Freshly Ground on their own, or maybe Jonny Clegg, have been so much more true to the first African World Cup?
But then even FIFA can’t control everything and Waving Flags became the song which I and many others will always associate with this 2010 World Cup. Some things in our lives “just are” and we help ourselves the most when we accept that and direct our energy into areas where we do have real control or influence.
Here is a lovely collection of slides with music, that bring back the wonderful vibe and emotions of the 2010 World Cup - African style. May they inspire you to go after the life you want, no matter what anyone says - ride out the hitches, stay focussed on the goal, accept what is beyond your control and take control of what is. Be the director of Your Life 2010.
Click here to download - takes a few minutes with acknowledgement to ChadM
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