It's a generational thing

Have you noticed that your attitudes and values are different from that of your parents or grandparents? Perhaps they keep the old wrapping paper to reuse, saying “waste not, want not” and get upset when you change jobs after “only” five years.
If you have children in high school or older do you sometimes clash with them over their attitude or values. Are their friends more important than their own family and would they prefer to send a text message instead of talking face to face?
This is apparently because we belong to different generations.

When I first heard about generational theory I thought it was nonsense. I believed my children differed from me because they were going through a teenage phase, which would pass. And I differed from my mother because we have different personalities. Then I began noticing that the younger staff in our office, were different from myself and colleagues of my age, in some ways that were consistent amongst themselves, regardless of personality.

Unlike many other theories about people this one is not psychological but sociological. And it isn’t new. A 14th Century Bedouin, Ancient Greek writers, Chinese philosophers and the writers of the Old Testament all noted the cyclical nature of history and generational development. However it was really popularised by two Americans, Howe and Strauss, in the 1990’s. Since then our own Graeme Codrington, with his company TomorrowToday, has made it easy for all of us to understand through his talks and his book called “Mind the Gap”.
Graeme explains simply, “Generational theory explains that the era in which a person was born affects the development of their view of the world.” Strauss and Howe point out that “History creates generations and generations create history”.

A generation tends to be about 20 years in length. Because it is bounded by significant events in the country or region the dates can differ from place to place. According to Codrington people in South Africa with the same generational characteristics are 3-5 yrs younger than the same group in the UK and that in turn is 3-5 yrs younger than the same generation in the US. Therefore in total there is up to 10 years difference between SA and the US. This is important when reading articles about the latest generation – the millennium generation. Most of these are written from the States and speak about their place in the workplace. Here in SA those people are just finishing school now and have not yet entered the workplace.

Tonight I would like to briefly look at two of the generations that are very active in our workplace at present: the baby boomers who were born from around 1950 and the Generation Xers who followed them from about 1970 until the end of the 80’s. So for us here that means if you are over 40 years old you are possibly a Boomer and if you are younger then you maybe a Generation Xer.

Those who have studied these two groups in the workplace describe the Boomers as a workaholic generation, driven, goal oriented and bottom line focussed; motivated by vision, mission and strategy. They are principled and optimistic with a leadership style that doesn’t consult much with other generations. They hate ageing hence the booming industry in anti aging products.

On the other hand the Xers look for quick, short term rewards and for a work-life balance. They are informal, self reliant and individualistic. All of which can make them appear arrogant and rebellious. They dislike bossiness and company culture. And they need constant change and experiences. They are sceptical of hype and being “sold” and tend to be more pessimistic.

People born as the generations changeover are called cuspers. According to Codrington they tend to take on the characteristics of one or the other generation but they are comfortable with both. This makes them very good at bridging the gap.

Why is it useful to have some understanding of how generational theory applies to the workplace?
Well differences between people are often a cause of conflict. But if we understand where that difference is coming from it is easier to tolerate and accept it and potential conflict can then be reduced.

PACE your Butterflies

Heart pounding, knot in your stomach, tight chest, brain disconnected, can’t remember anything…..
Can you relate to those symptoms?
Perhaps when waiting to be introduced as a speaker? Or sitting in reception before an important job interview?

When we are under stress our bodies ready themselves either to fight or to flee and the non dominant part of our brain shuts down. This can result in any or all of the symptoms I just described.

When people talk about handling nerves they sometimes say “it’s normal to have butterflies in your stomach – you just have to keep them flying in formation”. I am going to share with you a couple of techniques to do just that. To calm your body and clear your brain - helping you to function optimally.
The educational kinesiologists call this “doing PACE”.

To help you to remember I’d like you to do them along with me.

There are four steps.
The first is to drink water
Our brains consist of 80-90% water. Without being fully hydrated the thought impulses cannot travel correctly from one brain cell to the next. We need around 1.5 – 2l a day – more if we are perspiring from exercise or nerves.

The second is brain buttons
This exercise helps improve blood flow to the brain - to "switch on" the entire brain and improve concentration skills
· Put one hand so that there is as wide a space as possible between the thumb and fingers.
· Lean forward, hunching your shoulders in.
· Place your index or second finger – whichever feels more comfortable, and thumb, into the slight indentations below the collar bone on each side of the breast bone. Massage.
· At the same time put your other hand over your tummy button. Keep massaging for at least 20s.

The third is cross crawl
This helps to integrate the right and the left sides of the brain so you get more whole brain thinking and you counteract any tendency for the non dominant side to want to shut down.
· Stand up. Start marching on the spot touching each hand alternately on the opposite knee. You are crossing right to left and top to bottom.
· Do this either sitting or standing for about a minute.

And lastly "Hook Ups"
This works very well to calm the mind and improve concentration.
· Push your chairs back to give you a bit more space.
· Cross the right leg over the left at the ankles.
· Take your right wrist and cross it over the left wrist and link up the fingers so that the right wrist is on top.
· Bend the elbows out and gently turn the fingers in towards the body until they rest in the centre of the chest. Stay in this position.
· Keep the ankles crossed and the wrists crossed and then breathe evenly and deeply for a few minutes. Good breaths right from the tummy. Deep breath out pushing the tummy flat. Deep breath in filling right down to the tummy.
· Do this for a couple of minutes.

To summarise, PACE has four steps
- Drink plenty of water
- Rub the brain buttons
- Do cross crawl
- Hook up and breath deeply

Next time you are in a situation where you want to give of your best, give this a try and “PACE your butterflies”.

The Cat that Growled

“Grrr” “Grrr” I stopped abruptly as I entered the kitchen. Standing still I looked cautiously around me. None of my dogs around. No strange dogs. “Grrr”…”Grrr”. The sound was coming from the washing machine.

The machine stood in a narrow recess with just a slight gap on either side but the nook itself was deeper than the machine, so there was about a ruler length of space behind it. The deep, menacing growl was coming from in there.

The only way to see behind was to lean over the machine and look down from above. Whatever was down there could jump up, teeth bared, claws flying into my face. I hesitated, took a deep breath and peered over cautiously.

A small black face with narrow green eyes glared up at me, and growled again. I retreated quickly. It was Pukka, my black cat, that on a normal day loved nothing better that to drape herself around my neck like one of those fox furs that high fashion people used to wear.
Now what was she so angry about? I ran through possibilities in my mind – she had hurt herself badly and was scared out of her wits or, ‘oh no” could she have rabies?

I gingerly took another look. She was crouched down, staring up at me. There was no frothing at her mouth but her hair was sticking up like the bristles on a brush.

I’d have to get her to a vet but how? I certainly didn’t want to get attacked. Instead of calling our usual small animal vet I called the equine vet because she always came out to see our horses. After listening to my account of what was happening she instructed me to bring the cat into the surgery immediately. It seems that tiny cats don’t qualify for house calls!

I fetched the metal travelling cage and a bath towel. Fortunately the maid was in the house. We eased the washing machine forward so it was only just keeping the recess blocked. Whilst Aletta swung the machine sharply out I threw the towel over Pukka and pounced on the squirming body. Between us we wrestled the bundle through the small opening of the cage, pushed the lid closed and quickly slid the locking bar across. By the time it was locked the cat had wriggled out of the towel and stood bristling on top of it, growling from deep down in her chest.

The vet’s surgery was close by so we were soon in her rooms with the cage stood on the metal examination table. Dr Higgerty keeping a respectful distance from the tiny, angry, black fur ball observed Pukka and interrogated me. What had she eaten? Had we seen any other animals behaving strangely? Had anything unusual happened today or yesterday? “No, everything has been as usual. She was perfectly well yesterday. I put flea muti on her in the afternoon and she ate her usual supper.”

“What did you say about muti?” asked the vet. I explained that a veterinary nurse friend had given us a bottle of anti flea and tick muti to use for the dogs and cats. Yesterday I’d dosed all the animals on the back of their necks. “How many drops did you use? she asked. “Well, it’s supposed to be 3 for a cat but she wriggled so much that I couldn’t see exactly.”

“I think you’ve poisoned her. Cats are extremely sensitive to medicines and they have highly absorbent skins. If she got more drops than she was meant to she maybe terribly ill.

I felt dreadful. I love animals and I never want to see them suffer. And certainly not to cause it.

The vet said she’d give Pukka an injection of atropine and keep her in for observation. If she improved then we’d know it was an accidental poisoning. If she died her brain would have to go to Ondestepoort for autopsy to see if she had rabies.

As she lifted Pukka out of the cage, Pukka, quick as lightening, grabbed her finger and bit, drawing blood. The vet turned white but bravely hung on and the injection was given. A tense couple of days followed whilst we waited to see if the cat and the vet would be alright!

Fortunately a few days later I was able to fetch a perfectly healthy cat from a deeply relieved vet. Pukka purred like a little engine all the way home whilst I promised myself I’d never overdose a cat again.

The Second Tragedy

“Pietermaritzburg October 27th - What began as a festive night celebrating the Sharks' victory over the Blue Bulls on Saturday ended in tragedy after four young people, including two local matric pupils, died in a horror accident on the N3 in the early hours of Sunday morning.
A policeman said the Ford Bantam bakkie, which didn't have a canopy, was crammed to capacity with people on the back and in front - 12 altogether.
The driver apparently lost control of the vehicle after another vehicle blocked him in the fast lane.
Among the dead is St Charles College head boy Samukele Khumalo. The St Charles’ headmaster described Khumalo's death as "a tragedy".”He was the type of young man who would have been a future leader of the country”. He was captain of the rugby team and head of the boarding house.”

Was that tragic? Yes it was. A young life wasted.

But there was another even greater tragedy that night.
The report also states:
“His classmate, Sphamandla Bhengu was admitted to the Pietermaritzburg Medi Clinic. Bhengu is in a "stable and critical" condition with head and neck injuries.”

What does that mean “stable and critical”, “head and neck injuries”?
It could mean paralysis.
It definitely means he suffered a severe traumatic brain injury or TBI for short.
It means that even if his physical injuries heal well, Bhengu’s life as he knew it, has been shattered for ever. His parents and family will discover bit by bit that he is no longer the same person he used to be, and he never will be. The brain doesn’t heal like the rest of the body.

When hearing of a car or bike accident where no one was killed I used to think “thank goodness”. Then I started volunteering at Headway-Gauteng, the association that supports survivors of TBI and their families. Now I know that life after a head injury can sometimes be much worse than death.

In SA there are about 100 000 new head injuries a year – about 80% of these are caused by vehicle accidents. An unconfirmed stat says “for every death on our roads four other people will suffer TBI’s”.

One of the most publicized accidents involving head injury this year was that of Ashley Callie. She suffered severe head injuries. Contrary to what her friends from the Isidingo set said, it is highly unlikely that she would ever have been able to return to work as an actress. Very few people with severe or moderate TBI ever manage to be employed again. Those who do, rarely work in their original positions.

In the case of a vehicle accident most of the damage is to the frontal and temporal lobes of the brain. These areas are used for memory, learning, planning, organizing, and problem-solving as well as controlling emotions and behaviour.

Every injury is different and how each person recovers is unique. But let me paint a picture of some common complaints.
“My son or my wife has a head injury. She used to be such a dynamic, successful person. She still has a great sense of humour but sometimes the jokes are embarrassing and inappropriate.”
“He gets angry very easily and flies into a rage.”
“When he does manage to get a job it doesn’t last long. He’s slow and disorganised and keeps on forgetting what to do. The co workers get irritated with him for repeating the same stories.”
“Now she is at home I expect her to help out but she just sits and watches TV all day.”
“I am scared to let her cook because one day she went off to play with the dog and left the food to burn.”
“He has all sorts of grand ideas but can’t see they are way beyond his capabilities.”
“We have to manage his money because he would give it away to anyone who asked.”
“Where will she stay when I am gone?”

We, as individuals can do very little about the way other drivers drive. What we can control is how we drive and the example we set for our children. We can choose not to drink and drive. We can drive at an appropriate speed for the road conditions. We can wear our seatbelts.
We can also educate our teenagers. Encourage them to make careful choices and resist peer pressure. Khumalo and Bhengu should never have been on the back of that bakkie.
Let us each do our part to reduce the risk of being killed, or possibly worse, seriously injured on the roads.

Healthy GI

Butter is bad for you. Butter’s better than margarine.

Red meat’s bad – eat soya. Most soya is genetically modified. You don’t know what problems that might cause.

Advice on what is or isn’t healthy to eat is highly confusing and contradictory. But there is one concept that makes good sense, is very easy to apply and is healthy for all of us. That is the glycaemic index, or GI for short.

Many things that we eat cause a release of glucose into the bloodstream. The pancreas then releases insulin to maintain balance. If a large amount of glucose is released the pancreas responds with a large amount of insulin. The result is an initial sugar high followed by a sugar low. This yo yo-ing can feel uncomfortable and is unhealthy in the long term.

The glycaemic index is a scientific measure of the rate at which a food releases glucose. A true Low GI food releases glucose slowly and steadily into the bloodstream without overstimulating the pancreas to produce too much insulin.

By using the GI concept we can maintain steady levels of blood glucose. If we combine that with low-fat foods then blood pressure, cholesterol and weight levels can all improve as well. The Heart Foundation of SA recommends it as a healthy, normal way of eating for the whole family.

Leo and I have eaten this way since the early 2000’s. We started because both of us often experienced low blood sugar episodes. Nowadays it is rare that we have that experience of a sugar low when you struggle to think clearly and concentrate, maybe sweat or just feel tired.

Last week when speaking to my homeopath he stated that we should all probably eat in this manner just for general good health.

Now you know what GI is and why using it is good for you, how do you do it?
The idea is to adjust your choice of food so as to eat more low GI and less high GI foods.

Finding low GI foods is quite simple. Just changing the brand you buy or the variant you use is often sufficient.

Here are a few examples –
When buying breakfast cereals or breads many of them tell you on the packaging if they are “low GI”. If not then slowly become familiar with what is. If it’s All Bran Flakes you want then buy Bokomo or Spar, if oats then buy Bokomo, Spar, Pick n Pay or Woolies brands. And the wholewheat variety of Pronutro as well as the multi grain version of Provita biscuits are both low GI. By the way the so called slimmer’s cereal of Special K is a high GI cereal. This means that you feel hungry again quite quickly after eating it. A bowl of Bokomo All Bran Flakes and some plain yoghurt will keep you satisfied for much longer.

Most white and brown rice is low GI and Basmati is intermediate. Pasta made from dhurum wheat is great and baby potatoes in their skins are both delicious as well as low on the GI scale.

Most fruits and vegetables are naturally low GI. And all meats, fish and chicken as well as eggs. Also the dairy protein sources like low fat milk, yoghurt or cheese.

How our bodies react to food depends on chemistry so combining foods correctly lowers the GI. Adding milk or strangely enough sugar to cereals lowers the GI so Strawberry pops have a lower reading than Rice Krispies. Another funny one is cooking and then allowing something to cool often lowers the GI. This works with pap and custard.

Generally the simple mixing of a high GI item with a low one will bring the value down to the average. In general combining protein with carbohydrate moderates the body’s response.

To get a more detailed understanding of the GI concept you can go to the website www.gifoundation.com. There is also a range of recipe books all containing low GI, low fat recipes. The first one was called Eating for Sustained Energy. All are coauthored by Gabi Steenkamp.

To sum up why it is beneficial to adjust one’s eating in this way. It helps one generally feel well with good energy levels and in the long run reduces one’s risk for lifestyle diseases like diabetes, high blood pressure and cholesterol.
And best of all it is really simple to get started and it easily becomes a normal way of life.

Kairos Time

Being a person who believes in synchronicity, it is no accident that the two banks I have banked with have now taken slogans that describe my approach to life.
“make things happen” and then “inspired, motivated, involved”

In 1976, before Soweto erupted in riots, I was a compliant and diligent 11 year old. Sport wasn’t my forte although I participated with great enthusiasm and lesser ball skills in the B netball team. However I was doing well in highland dancing.
My big escape was devouring books. All my life I have read anything that passes my way. At breakfast I would read the back of the cereal packets, everyday. If I visited someone in a block of flats I read the notice board whilst I waited for the lift.

It was now time to choose a high school. My parents applied for scholarships to a number of good schools and I wrote the exams and attended the interviews. The outcome was that I tied with another girl for the Kingsmead College Scholarship and was offered a bursary to attend Woodmead High School. The choice was mine. A very prestigious, all girls school or a small, radically different, co-ed school. I chose Woodmead and as the poet Robert Frost says “that has made all the difference”.

Kairos time is an opportune moment, or a time in between - in between what was and what will be. The Ancient Greeks used the word Kairos to describe a time when conditions are right for a crucial action.
Our lives are the accumulation of how we use our periods of kairos time. Each time we use one we put our lives onto a new path.
When I made my choice of high school, that was kairos time. It’s the first such kairos moment that I can recall in my life.

Woodmead encouraged and actively developed free thinking and questioning, self discipline and leadership. The school’s leaders were challenging invalid laws by being the first secular school to admit non white pupils. During the two years I was there I experienced real education rather than just schooling. The previously hidden rebellious side of me began to emerge. Thereafter I no longer accepted an adult’s superiority unquestioningly and I began to speak up for anything I felt strongly about. A boss of mine once wrote in my reference letter “Alison challenges management in a positive and polite way”. I thought he was being very kind!

In the mid 1980’s I began my first career, as an Optometrist. By 1995 I had changed from full time practise to doing locums, was married for the first time and had two young children. Regular part time work at one of Pretoria’s large practices led to another kairos moment.

I had always had an interest in IT and at this practise I had tweaked the data tables in their software. One afternoon I received a call from a man who introduced himself as Stephan from Capital Computers. He explained that his company was developing a new package for optometrists and needed an optom to help them understand the unique needs. The owners of the practice had recommended he speak to me. He asked me to go to their offices and spend two hours with the development team answering their questions. At the time I had a visitor from overseas so it wasn’t very convenient but I felt an upsurge of excitement inside and I arranged to meet them the day after. I remember going to my visitor, Mark and saying. “I think this could be my opportunity to get into the IT field”.

It turned out to be just that. I worked part time as an independent contractor for them for the next five years.

The action I took in my kairos time moved me from optometry into IT and management.
It showed me that I could do many things that I had not been formally trained for. That I could learn just about anything I set my mind to. It started me on a path that has so far also embraced four years in HR and transformation and three years on my own as a development tutor – growing people and growing businesses. By drawing on my understanding and knowledge of both human needs and business needs I help people and businesses to be as productive as possible whilst enjoying themselves.

Be aware of your own kairos time. Don’t let it slip by unnoticed.